I told you I couldn't be your friend on your birthday

I just thought a lot and i don't think i can wait for you to feel comfortable enough to actually tell me how you feel, which is something that i'm thinking might never happen. I also don't want to continue to be the way we were and then the same thing that happened last year happens again and then you ignore me, blow me off and then decide not to talk to me at all anymore. I can't just sit there and have these feelings for you and play the let's pretend we don't have feelings for each other game with you but not be able to possibly move on with someone else just to make sure you won't get mad at me again. I care about you so much and i've always felt you really know me better than anyone else and you don't even have to try, but i just can't anymore.