Clinging onto something.

So....

Shane is "living for god now."
He posts about god on fb, that's it.
He told me he was baptized on the 14th, just a couple weeks ago.
Literally changed his entire life and is doing things for god I guess?
How does someone decide one day that they're just going to get up and make all these huge life changes out of nowhere?
I remember when we first started talking, him talking to me about how he feels towards the government and how they try to control everyone. He was really into Leftover Crack, especially for their anti-government lyrics, which I also liked. And now he's part of something, that does make him happen which I am glad, but seems to be controlling him. How does this happen?

And the last time we talked about two months ago he was talking to me about wanting to fuck again, now it's all about jesus.
Hmm.
I'm so done.

My birthday was good.

My friend who I went to visit in late February doesn't talk to me really anymore. After we had sex, I knew that was gonna happen. I knew it was gonna mess things up. Also, after telling me while I was there that he didn't want to get back into any relationship with another girl for a while he ended up going back to his ex who cheated on him RIGHT before his birthday. Figures. I don't understand why people do that.
I spent my birthday in Citrus County. I had planned a get together at one of the bars there with anyone who wanted to show up, except Dustin ofcourse. We went there with a little group. Me, Emily, Greg, Graham, his new boyfriend, Ktb and Sarah. I was the only one in our group who was single, so it was a little weird but we were having a good time. I figured not many people were gonna show since they had gone to another bar earlier and it was a wednesday night. Then i got a text from a 352 number asking where I was at, I wasn't sure who it was so I asked. It ended up being Joe, the guy I messed around with last summer who owns the pizza place I like. I told him where we were at and he showed up, without his girlfriend. He walked into the bar and walked up behind me and put his fingers on the lower right side of my back to let me know he was there. He stood behind me for a couple minutes talking to our friends, since we all know eachother. Then he grabbed a bar chair and pulled it up behind mine and Ktb's chair to talk to her about fishing and what ever else he had been up to lately. It was kind of weird, ya know? Like, I haven't really talked to him in a while, a little small talk when we've ran into eachother in a social setting but that was it. I just sat there for a minute looking at Emily looking at me thinking the same thing I was; how weird it was that he was here. When Ktb and Greg got up to play pool he sat down next to me and first thing he says was "Dope ring." with this corny smile on his face. I had a ring on i had gotten recently that spelled out the word "DOPE" on it in gold letters. He was being real decent, yet real cheesy, it was nice. He seemed a little nervous, and it felt like the first time me and him formally met, which was at that same bar. I kind of got the feeling that he still likes me or something, which makes me feel a little guilty because he has this girlfriend who he supposedly stopped talking to me to be with. I don't get it. I don't know what to do about it. I know I'm gonna be seeing him again so I guess i'll just see what he does.
Btw, i'm good with Shane again. That's a-whole-nother confusing guy I get to deal with again.
woo fun.

For all the shit that's happened in my nearly 23 years of living...

I should write a damn book.

For real.
Like, I've been told multiple times from various friends that I always have weird random shit happening in my life.

You're a roller coaster I don't want to be on.

Why do I always go back and forth with guys like you?
No more.
Tired.

You must be insane.

For you to curse me out for nearly ten minutes over the phone and tell me how crazy you think i am and that you feel like i'm stalking you through facebook made me really mad. It surprises me even more to hear that three weeks later, after not speaking to you since the incident, you're telling my friend that i can sleep with you in your room when i go to visit her. Excuse me? Who does that? Who the fuck tells someone that they feel like they stalk them and then says they can sleep with them in their bed?! A really fucked up person i guess. What the fuck. You can't just push me away and be a complete jerk when you get freaked out and mad and then pull me back in and try to be cool with me when you're lonely and miss me being around. It doesn't fucking work that way. I'm tired of dealing with this kind of shit from guys, it's ridiculous.

Umm... how do i say this without seeming crazy?

Either someone who is mentally insane and think's that they are actually Tyler, The Creator and is really really good at pretending to be him OR Tyler, The Creator himself has been messaging me/answering my messages via tumblr and likes my ass. There's a lot to explain here, trust me i know.

I don't know what to think.














HI.