it's not real.

i had a weird dream last night, not like that never happens, but this one was really different than most. it felt so real, more real than any other dreams i've had in a very long time. i was so nervous and anxious, i felt the anxiety in my sleep because i thought it was real life for a moment. and the things that happened in the dream are things i could see actually happening to me. the message of the dream? i think it was saying that maybe i feel like you're still out to mess with me. play some kind of prank on me again, a really terrible one. another prank that would put more cracks in my heart because i would have gotten fooled again. i would have let you say this long fake speech and at the end of pouring myself out to you afterwards, you would smile and start saying how stupid i am for actually believing what you just said and how clever you are because you were just improvising your words. doing all of that just to hurt me, just to see me upset. i can see you doing that one day and it makes me scared.