this is it.

my boyfriend changed his mind on where to live, he wants to be in tampa because there's a better job offer there and wants me to move with him. it would happen much sooner, which, is good... but i know nothing/nobody there. i would do it for him though. also, i hope he stops talking all together to this one girl he knows, i've asked him a few times before to completely stop but he says since they work together it's "unavoidable". fine, he can talk at work about work when he HAS to, like he says he does, but texting about stupid vlog bullshit and keeping her as a friend on every social website he has an account on is bothering me. years ago, i could talk not even half as bad about his then-girlfriends and he would unfriend me and delete/block me on everything but she can be a huge raging fatass cunt when it comes to me and he still talks to her? actually, one upon a time a few years ago, his girlfriend told him to choose between being with her or being my friend because she didn't like that he called me his "bestfriend" on a myspace post... he obviously chose her that time. so, this doesn't make sense to me. i've told him how it bothers me and he just says that he wishes i could see things the way he does and that she's just a child still and needs to grow up some more, but he shouldn't make excuses for people. just no. this needs to happen soon, or else i'm going to leave and this choice alot easier for him.

I feel gross

I hate when people hide things from me. How am i supposed to trust you? How am i supposed to know you're not hiding bigger, more important things from me? What the fuck! And i'm sick of only being able to see you at night. I'm sick of not being able to do much. I'm sick of having a time limit for our time spent together. I'm sick of being stuck here everyday hoping i get to spend another whole day with you only to find out, once again, that i won't be seeing you until after 10pm.

Hate it

My new/old relationship i'm in is starting to become predictable. Every time he comes over to see me, i know we're not gonna do much beside watch tv, go on online, makeout, cuddle and/or fuck. It's making me want to scream. I know it's not his fault... but i need other activities. We can't go out much because he doesn't have enough money for it. I can't go to his house because his parents would have a heart attack. I just want to do something that i don't expect, something well thought out not necessarily somewhere else but something else. I want it but i don't want to have to put the idea in his head for it to happen. I just want a nice surprise, but i never get them.