whoa, ok...

party tonight for em's birthday, i cannot wait!

and a minor note: every past blog i've written, if anyone has even read this blog...

forget it.

Ti Amo.

Forrrrreal.

I've told you i did, although you knew i was drinking at the time so i'm sure you thought i was just being a happy drunk, but i was being honest. I'm kind of happy that we are better with each other than last year, you don't push me away anymore. I think it's because you realize i want to stick around, i don't use you and i don't just fade in and out of your life as i please. I like that you're starting to be a little more honest with me and talk to me about some issues, it makes me feel good that you're willing to let your guard down atleast sometimes. Honestly, i think we both have similar feelings, yet we're just both scared to get hurt and it's understandable. I mean, i'm starting to try to trust you and i'm understanding how you are and why you act a certain way about things and i feel like i'm getting to know who you really are, which rarely anyone actually knows. And i know that you still don't trust me enough, boy, but you should. I promise i won't ever hurt you.

It makes me wonder.

People always want to act like they have to "get rid of" me... and then later on they always end up wanting me around again. They don't really admit it most of the time, like i have to initiate that it's "O.K." to want to talk to me again by talking to them first and then they end up sort of telling me. Maybe it's just who i am, i don't know. Most people should know they're always accepted to be back in my life, that is, if they want to be. They don't have to go around acting like they don't give a fuck about it if they really do, i mean, really... if you didn't care so much about me why would you still talk about me or think about me? Think about that one.